Unless I’m told otherwise, I’m only going to do this once. But for the record, Yahoo is going with the following spelling for its new slogan: “It Starts With Y!ou.” I don’t think that’s going to fly with consumers or copy editors, but we’ll see.

Also undetermined: Whether there will be any news unveiled at Yahoo’s press conference to roll out said slogan. But I’ll be here for you just in case. And in the meantime, you can find glimpses of the coming campaign at the bottom of this post.

The event begins: Boilerplate intro remarks from Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Carol Bartz, followed by CMO Elisa Steele. Steele shows off a Venn diagram that shows the intersection of “my world” and “the world.” Yahoo, apparently, is that intersection. “That’s where the yodel is.”

Steele reminds us that this is Yahoo’s first global marketing campaign. That’s old hat for Microsoft (MSFT) and something Google (GOOG) has never done. Ad campaigns will roll out in 10 countries, branding campaign will be in all territories.

Steele runs through some imagery that will be used in campaign. Yahoo users, apparently, comprise many races and creeds. But all of them are buff and/or skinny. Unless they’re pregnant. A video ad, meanwhile features an upgraded yodel.

OK. Time for Q&A:

Onstage: Bartz; Steele; EVP Hilary Schneider; Tapan Bhat, SVP Integrated Consumer Experiences; Penny Baldwin, SVP Global Integrated Marketing and Brand Management.

What’s the budget for the campaign?

Steele: “Over $100 million.”

Status of ad market? Also, what won’t you sell?

Schneider: Starting to see a stabilization. “Wouldn’t go so far as to say as we’re seeing a full recovery.”

Bartz: We’re still “bumping along the bottom.” Regarding sales, she dodges/reframes the question, talking about “focus” instead. “We’re just revisiting everything.” Is there anything you won’t sell? “Of course.” But no specifics. Will improve photo, video, “much, much better email.”

Please talk about the launch of Google Ad Exchange and its threat to you.

Schneider: “The reality is that the display marketplace is fragmented.” Our exchange (Right Media) is biggest, but it’s intuitive that there will be other exchanges. “We welcome Google.”

Why do a relaunch at all? Are consumers actually unhappy, or is it just advertisers and press and investors carping?

Bartz: “Advertisers follow consumers” and we need to “build circulation.” By doing this approach, “we get really good micro-insights for our advertisers.” She doesn’t explain how this will happen, though.

Steele: “Consumers want more from online advertising.” They’re asking for it.

What about video plans?

Bartz: “Video snacks” are crucial to consumers and advertisers. “A big emphasis” inside Yahoo. A “big cornerstone of our strategy.”

How long will campaign run? How will you measure success?

Steele: It’s funded for 15 months, and I expect it will run longer than that. Vague answers about management.

Some chat about search, which formally debuts today.

Will there be product-specific ads?

Steele: Launch of the campaign in each market will start with brand, and over time you’ll see more product ads, as “people get familiar with Yahoo again.”

One more time: Is Zimbra being shopped?

Bartz: No comment. But “what I will tell you is that Zimbra technology is very, very important to our mail system, and that’s one of the prime reasons that Yahoo bought Zimbra when it did…[but] the technology is already integrated into our system.”

How is this campaign different than other campaigns? You’ve had a lot of campaigns in the last 15 years.

Steele: I haven’t been here in past, but I’ve reviewed every campaign that has been done and this is radically different because it’s more than a campaign. Carol and Carol’s staff are all behind the concept of “you.” Everyone’s on board. “If this was just a marketing campaign or a slogan, then we’ve really failed.”

Bartz: This should remind you of the past, actually. That’s not a bad thing. On search: Search has evolved from the “10 blue links” days. She views background of search much like an Intel (INTC) chip, which everyone uses. But Dell’s (DELL) experience with that chip is different than HP’s (HPQ) experience, etc. Yahoo is stable at 19 percent of search business because users are on Yahoo and they like Yahoo search. “Yahoo search is great. It’s not Bing, it’s Yahoo search….What’s most important is that we drive upstream and provide a great experience, even though the plumbing is down here.”

Do users really like to customize their search (premise behind overhauled homepage)?

Bhat: Core group of 15 percent of users really into customization. Most other people say they want that but aren’t willing to do the work. So we’re doing incremental customization on the homepage. “This will be something that keeps growing over time.”

Will you be integrating text-messaging and other short messaging services into the homepage?

Bhat: Yes.

How is the antitrust scrutiny going (with regard to Microsoft search deal)?

Bartz: Just as we predicted. We stand by our original prediction that the deal will close early 2010.

Are we too obsessed about what’s new here?

Bartz: Yes. “People just decided to put a cloud over Yahoo’s head”…and decided that if we’re going to remove the cloud we had to show off something shiny and new. “If you get out of New York and Silicon Valley, everybody loves Yahoo.” I travel a lot and everyone loves it. “I just want to transport you guys out of this cynicism you’re in….Why are you so cynical? Why not be cynical about fricking Google? See…you got me…you got me pissed off.”

[Note. Some debate about whether Bartz used "fricking" instead of an actual curse. We'll go to tape later. Update: Apologies (and thanks to Business Insider's Nicholas Carlson, who shared his video with me). Bartz appears to have said "fricking" or "frigging" Google.]

[Sorry about interregnum there. Cursing got me wound up. Back to real-time.]

Where do you want to be in two years?

Bartz: Yahoo is the only site where you when you wake up in the morning and you want to know what’s going on everywhere about everything, you can find it one place. The company is unified around that spirit, “not about technology for technology’s sake, but about what that delivers.”

Why doesn’t Wall Street buy the Yahoo turnaround story even though Google has fared okay during this recession? 

Bartz: “Yahoo and Google are different companies. They are in different businesses…investors are somewhat like you guys, where they’re saying ‘let’s wait and see.’” About this direct comparison with Google: “We aren’t a comparable company. They aren’t us and we aren’t them.”

So whom would you like to be compared to?

Bartz: “Yahoo.” But the closest analog is AOL, actually. Google is a white page with a search box. We’re very personal. When you go to our page in India, it feels like India. Relevance is important. Personalization is important. That’s not Facebook’s strategy. That’s not Twitter. “Not to say we’re not part of the greater tech sector, and you’ve got to find some compares.” But Yahoo is unique. We’re doing okay with the world side; we have to work on the easy personalization that is the core of our product focus.

Please address the stock sale, Carol.

Bartz: “I didn’t sell anything.” I got restricted stock throughout the year; when it vests, it gets recorded as a sale. “I haven’t sold one penny of Yahoo stock. Thanks for asking, because it pissed me off when they said I sold. I wouldn’t do that.”

Q&A ends. More in a bit.

Per usual, you can either argue that these modest gains are good news for Microsoft (MSFT), especially because they come after months of declines. Or you can argue that they are way too modest, given the hype and the media blitz that accompanied the launch.

My question: If you’re Carol Bartz and company and you’re about to launch a Bing-sized marketing campaign of your own, do Microsoft’s results give you encouragement or pause?

Again, the half-full argument is that the Bing blitz proves that given enough brute force, you can indeed use offline advertising to change online behavior, at least in the short term.

Half-empty: At least Microsoft’s pitch has an intriguing come-on–”Hey you! We’ve got a search engine that works better than Google (GOOG)! Come see for yourself!” But unless I’m missing something, there’s nothing equally compelling powering Yahoo’s “Its You!” push.

Maybe I’m wrong: Yahoo (YHOO) formally takes the drapes off its campaign this morning at a series of Advertising Week events. I’ll report back a little later today.

In the meantime, here are the newest comScore (SCOR) numbers, courtesy of JP Morgan’s Imran Khan (click on table to enlarge):

[Image credit: Seattle Municipal Archives]

CEO Eric Schmidt reiterated that position, which he’s already made a couple times this year, in an interview with the Financial Times. Though Schmidt did allow that Google (GOOG) had at least mulled the idea at one point, which will be old news to MediaMemo readers:

FT: Would you ever consider buying a newspaper; they’re cheap right now?

ES: We’ve actually looked at this and we’re trying to avoid crossing the line between the infrastructure and technology that Google provides and the content that our partners provide. There is a line and we’re trying to stay on our side it.

Hey, why does that sound familiar? Ah, that’s right.

I’m told that while Google execs have brought up the notion of snapping up distressed newspapers using its huge cash hoard within the past year, those talks have never gotten serious. It’s hard to see how they could: Google has emphatically stayed out of the content business so far, and it’s unclear why it would change direction now–and invest in a shrinking industry at the same time.

Schmidt and the FT also recovered other material that’s been out for a bit, including the search giant’s talks with the Washington Post (WPO), and presumably, the New York Times (NYT), about some kind of collaboration. In this case, Schmidt refers vaguely to “online news versions that somehow address the immediate needs of people and for which advertising works better.”

And while he was at it, Schmidt didn’t hold out hope for rekindling a  Yahoo/Google search deal. Which is good, since Yahoo (YHOO) and Microsoft (MSFT) look like they’re close to getting something done: “…never say never in business. Carol [Bartz, Yahoo chief executive], of course, is a very, very able and strong CEO and my sense is that she’s very focused on getting Yahoo back to its former glory, which is a great project.”

Ballmer was a little more expansive today, during his Q&A with BusinessWeek editor Stephen Adler at the McGraw-Hill media conference. But it’s pretty much what he’s been saying for several months: We’d like to combine our search business with Yahoo’s, but we can live without it. And when new Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz is ready to talk to us about it, she knows where to find us.

Here are the relevant bits from my liveblog of the chat, which just ended. Anything that isn’t in quotes is a paraphrase:

Adler: What’s up with Yahoo talks?

Ballmer: Principles first: “Whether or not there’s a partnership to be had with Yahoo, we think our own innovation… it’s not about Yahoo’s technology. It’s really about getting the pooled volume, because you actually can improve your product faster if you have more users.” If you have more advertisers, you can improve the product as well. “There are returns to scale. And putting the scale together is valuable.”

“With that as context, we’re largely on the same strategy, with or without a partnership with Yahoo.” I’ve talked with Carol briefly, over the phone. “I’m sure when it’s appropriate, we’ll have a chance to sit down and talk.” I’ve known her for years. She’s straightforward and friendly “and when she’s ready, we’ll have that type of discussion. Whether a deal gets done or not, who knows.” People at our two companies talk all the time.

Adler: Will there be a deal?

Ballmer: “There are a lot of things that are fairly compelling economically in trying to put our two search efforts together in a partnership.” I thought that last year, and “I got bailed out of this economy by Yahoo on that”. [Laughs].

Other highlights: Ballmer reiterated that neither he nor nor anyone in his family owns anything made by Apple (AAPL), but he conceded that Steve Jobs and company have done pretty well with their iPod/iTunes products. He still insists, however, that Microsoft is better positioned than Apple in the smartphone market.

And while Ballmer also acknowledged that Google (GOOG) has run away with the search market so far, he seemed less worried about its attempts to undermine Microsoft’s Office franchise with its free and low-cost Web-based software.

And Ballmer professed to be largely disinterested in the proposed IBM (IBM) and Sun (JAVA) tie-up, except to argue that he would be glad to see a competitor bogged down with post-merger headaches: ““I think it gives me a year or two where they’re digesting it. I relish that year.”

Here are excerpts from the event, and here’s my on-the-fly transcript.

Time to start “getting our house in order,” Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz declared today.

One of the first steps: Sweeping out CFO Blake Jorgensen.

Here’s the two-sentence update Yahoo filed with the SEC this morning explaining the move:

“On February 26, 2009, Yahoo! Inc. (the “Company”) announced that Blake Jorgensen, Chief Financial Officer of the Company, will be leaving the Company. The Company has initiated a search for a new Chief Financial Officer. Mr. Jorgensen will remain with the Company as its Chief Financial Officer through a transition period.”

Jorgensen, you may recall, was the Yahoo (YHOO) executive who was signaling the company’s interest in a Microsoft (MSFT) search deal just yesterday.

One of the first duties for new Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz: Deliver a brutal fourth-quarter report card for the company she just inherited.

So says Citi (C) analyst Mark Mahaney, who predicts that Yahoo (YHOO) will post a one percent year-over-year decline in its core display ad business when it reports fourth-quarter earnings Jan. 27. That would be the first time that’s ever happened in the company’s history. Mahaney, in his best dry analyst-speak, describes that as a “significant negative.”

It also won’t be a huge surprise: As the chart above (click to enlarge) illustrates, Yahoo’s display advertising has been weakening throughout the year. The same has been happening to its peers, too: Time Warner’s (TWX) AOL may be about to post an 18 percent drop in its ad revenue.

Industrywide, Mahaney thinks, display ads will climb two percent this year. (That makes him an optimist in some quarters.)

And if Bartz does have to deliver lousy news, now is the best possible time to do it: This will get laid at the feet of Jerry Yang, Sue Decker and the economy in general.

Next quarter, though? A different story.